We are trying to fix and change what is on the outside. The people in our lives, how they are, how they should be. Our family, our friends, and our significant others. But, being in charge, it is essential to realize that we cannot force change on others.
No wishing for or begging it to be different. No hoping it could turn into something that it just isn’t, won’t be, can’t be for whatever reason. It is not them that we can fix or should even try to fix. We have no real power over any person or outside circumstances. The one thing we can change is our part in all of it.
Being in charge means having the power. The power to initiate change. The ability to create and choose a different path. By accepting this power, by owning it, we also accept and acknowledge that we are responsible for ourselves. And since we are in charge, we get to decide what is next. If we don’t decide how to move forward, nothing will change. Our relationships will stay the same, and we will continue wishing they were different.
Most often, when we long for our close relationships to be different, more nurturing, and more inclusive, we underestimate our power to make that change happen, and we prejudge the willingness of others to understand our desires.
Understanding our needs and being able to communicate them is an essential step of being in charge and changing our part in any relationship. We open the door for others to walk this new path with us. We invite them. But we cannot force them. It is their choice.
We often cling to the idea that things will change by themselves, that others will wake up and realize they need to change, or maybe we have already given up. Start breaking that cycle by being in charge again. Focus on what you envision and use your energy to create while letting go of everything else.
Notice if your relationships change. Let go of the ones where the connection cannot be what you desire. This is most difficult when it comes to our family, but it applies to it the same way as you were to leave a dead-end job. Society may dictate otherwise, but you can also let go of what society dictates.
Let’s not forget that this is your life, and you are in charge!
Love,
CVK